The Way He Looks At You
by digthewriter
Summary: Merlin is with Arthur and he's happy-ish. Things change when Arthur's new PA, Mordred, says something unnerving. Now Merlin can only think about Mordred.


**Disclaimer**: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**Title**: The Way He Looks At You

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Merlin rolled onto his back and stared into the darkness as Arthur slept next to him. It had been a strange night: they'd started it with a fight, and it had quickly escalated to sex. Merlin didn't have a problem with that; neither did Arthur, and that was why they worked.

Except…Arthur never wanted to get together, unless Merlin asked. And a bit of snuggling at night? Arthur would never initiate. Merlin didn't mind that either, because when he would initiate, Arthur always reciprocated. He just wasn't the cuddling type, Merlin told himself, and that was okay.

That's what Merlin did all the time didn't he? Think everything was okay. Arthur was his and Merlin belonged to Arthur, and that's what really mattered. And then there was the matter of Mordred, Arthur's handsome, shy, sweet PA. One would have to be a fool to not think Mordred was attractive, but it wasn't just that Merlin was attracted to Mordred—it was that Mordred always managed to say something unnerving to Merlin.

"He doesn't deserve you," Mordred had said a few weeks before when he handed Merlin a cup of coffee as they waited for Arthur to get dressed for a charity gala.

"Why do you say that?" Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow and sipping the café mocha Mordred had brought him. Mordred had only been working for Arthur for two months and he knew how Merlin liked all of his drinks; not just Arthur's.

"Just…" Mordred paused and Merlin pressed him. "He doesn't look at you the way you look at him."

And since that night, Merlin hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. Merlin began distancing himself from Arthur, and it was as though Arthur didn't even notice. Eventually Merlin gave in and was his old self around Arthur, but he couldn't help but hate himself for being so dependent on Arthur's love.

Now, Merlin always lay awake in the dark, listening to Arthur breathe, and thinking of what sort of coffee Mordred preferred.

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0-0-0-0

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"I'm leaving."

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Merlin asked Mordred, who'd managed to drop the news on him in the form of nothing short of a bombshell. He'd only been working for Arthur for six months and surely, Arthur wasn't that horrible of a boss that Mordred already wanted to resign?

"I've taken an offer with M & C designs," Mordred answered, as he filed the last bit of loose papers on his desk.

"Morgana's company?" M & C designs was something Morgana had started with Cendred when she was kicked out of Pendragon & Sons. Even though M & C was an interior design company and Pendragon & Sons was an architectural firm, Morgana still hadn't forgiven Arthur for what he'd done.

Even if Merlin knew that Arthur didn't have a choice.

"The pay is better and I wouldn't have to deal with…" Mordred hesitated and returned to his work.

"Deal with what?" Merlin asked. He'd come to catch Arthur for a quick lunch and had hoped to see Mordred as well. The news Mordred had dropped on him left with an ache that he couldn't understand.

Mordred sighed. "Nothing."

Arthur came out of his office and looked at Merlin and Mordred. "Ready?" he asked Merlin, who nodded. Then Arthur turned to Mordred. "Mordred, really, thank you for everything you've done these past few months and I can only hope that the new hire will be half as good as you."

Mordred smiled and shook Arthur's hand. That was the thing Merlin loved about Arthur—no matter his flaws—Arthur always gave credit where credit was due. But Mordred? He was just something else.

"I'll miss him," Merlin told Arthur as they took a seat at the café around the corner for a quick bite.

Arthur exhaled sharply. "I won't." He looked determinedly at the menu as though he was avoiding talking about something.

"Why? You just thanked him for all his hard work." Merlin laid his menu on the table and looked at Arthur

"Yeah, but I didn't like the way he looked at you," Arthur answered without looking up.

"How did he look at me?" Merlin found Arthur's answer intriguing. What was with all these people going on about looking at each other?

"The way you look at me." Arthur turned his gaze away from the menu and towards Merlin. Merlin's breath hitched, but it wasn't because of the way Arthur was eyeing him, but because Merlin _had_ seen the way Mordred looked at him and had chosen to ignore it. He'd thought if he didn't think about it, it wouldn't exist. Although, Merlin knew he thought about it too. He thought about it every night, as he lay in the dark, wishing for someone to want him—ache for him.

Merlin immediately stood up from his chair, almost toppling it over.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked.

"I'm sorry, Arthur…but Mordred isn't the only one leaving," Merlin answered, and he put his jacket back on.

"What do you mean?" Arthur looked confused, and he went to stand up as well.

"No, don't…" Merlin said, gesturing for Arthur to stay where he was. "I'm sorry, I know this is really lame, but I'm leaving too."

"Merlin, I don't understand—"

"I know, and that's the problem." Merlin smiled softly. He really didn't wish Arthur any ill will. "I'll see you around." He turned away from the table, and all but ran towards the exit door. Merlin determined to make it to Arthur's office before Mordred would have a chance to leave. He was too late, though: Mordred was getting into a taxi.

"Mordred!" Merlin screamed after him, but it was too late. Mordred had already gotten in the car, and it had sped off. Merlin ran after the car, almost getting hit by a biker, but he didn't stop. He screamed Mordred's name repeatedly, and felt as though he was enacting a scene from _The Graduate_.

Eventually the car stopped at a red light and Merlin saw Mordred turn to look at him. The driver must have tipped him off. Mordred got out of the car, and looked shocked to see Merlin. The cars around honked and Mordred gestured Merlin to hurry up and get into the car, and Merlin did.

"What are you doing here?" Mordred asked as the car door closed behind Merlin and the driver sped off.

"I don't know," Merlin answered.

"Where's Arthur," Mordred asked, looking at Merlin up and down and wiping the bit of sweat on Merlin's forehead with his handkerchief.

"I don't know…back at the restaurant, I reckon," Merlin answered, grinning at Mordred, gasping for air.

"You're absolutely crazy. Why did you run to catch me?" Mordred was looking at Merlin, trying to read his face for a reaction, when Merlin leaned in and kissed Mordred.

Merlin pulled Mordred by his neck and pushed his lips onto Mordred's. Mordred kissed Merlin back, sucking on Merlin's lower lip, gently biting it and then grazing it with his tongue.

When they parted for air, Mordred smiled, and Merlin quickly placed a kiss on his lips again. "That's why. That's why I ran after the taxi."

"You're with—"

"No, I'm not."

"But—"

"I've been an idiot," Merlin said as he grabbed Mordred's hand and kissed it. "Arthur and I were over long before you came into the picture and I thought I was going _crazy_ because of the way I felt about you. I realised that losing you as a 'friend' was a lot worse than losing Arthur as a boyfriend. I—erm—depending on how you feel about it, I'd like to give us—"

"Yeah," Mordred jumped in before Merlin could finish his sentence and kissed him again. Merlin was glad because it was possibly the most agonising thing he'd put himself through as of late.

"Sorry to break up the lovefest, boys, but we're here," the driver said, stopping the car outside a building that Merlin had never seen before.

"Where are we?" Merlin asked.

"My flat," Mordred answered, trying unsuccessfully to hide his smile.

"That's convenient," Merlin answered, with an equally coy smile on his face. "Am I invited up?" Mordred nodded frantically after he paid the fare and the two of them exited the taxi, each holding a box each of Mordred's things.

When they entered Mordred's flat, Merlin looked around. Judging by the state of things, Mordred didn't live alone. It hit Merlin then how little he knew about Mordred compared to how much Mordred knew about him.

"Where's your flatmate?" Merlin asked.

"She's out. Work probably. I'm supposed to meet her and some other friends for dinner later on." Mordred placed the box he'd brought in on the floor near the kitchen door and grabbed Merlin's box and did the same. "Thanks for the help." He smiled nervously at Merlin and motioned towards the kitchen.

Merlin followed him dutifully.

"Do you want something to drink? Coffee or –"

Merlin didn't give Mordred a chance to finish his question, but claimed his lips again as he pushed him against the counter. He didn't want coffee, or – whatever. He wanted Mordred. Mordred responded by wrapping his arms around Merlin's waist and pulling him closer. As Merlin pushed into him more with his hips, Mordred only reacted favourably in return. Merlin moaned into Mordred's mouth, biting his lower lip as Mordred's hands travelled under Merlin's shirt, his fingernails digging into Merlin's skin.

"Fuck—" Merlin broke the kiss, gasping for air, his erection pushing against his trousers and Mordred's equally hard cock.

"My room…" Mordred whispered in Merlin's ear and bit his earlobe "…is that way."

Merlin was thankful that Mordred's flatmate wasn't home because they never made it to his room, not fully anyway. Trying to keep away from kissing as they walked across the hall was proving difficult, along with the fact that Merlin had begun unbuttoning Mordred's trousers and Mordred was doing the same to him.

Right outside the door to Mordred's room, Merlin pushed him against the wall and slid their erections together. "I can't…I can't go any further…I can't pause…" Merlin huffed out as he and Mordred glided their cocks, each stroking the other and nearly moaning in unison. It wasn't the most graceful way to come; heck, it wasn't even the hottest way to come, but being with Mordred was more gratifying than Merlin had felt in a very long time.

Mordred came first, shooting hot liquid onto Merlin's hand even as he continued to thrust into it. Merlin leaned back and watched as Mordred stroked him. He was biting his lip, trying to prevent himself from screaming; when he looked at Mordred, Mordred was _watching_ him. Merlin felt a hot flush rise in his cheeks and, without breaking eye contact, Mordred licked his lower lip. "Fuck, Merlin…" Mordred whispered as Merlin leaned his head back and came. "I think I could watch you come every day." Mordred groaned as he pulled Merlin in for a kiss; a ruthless, merciless kiss.

"I can't believe I didn't realise you wanted me…like this." Merlin smiled and nuzzled into Mordred's neck, leaning into him. Afraid of letting go.

"Your vision was blurred," Mordred replied softly. He ran his hand through Merlin's hair, gently caressing him.

"I can see perfectly clear now," Merlin answered, before releasing Mordred to grab a few paper towels for them to clean up with.

"And what do you see…?" Mordred asked, removing his trousers completely, then his shirt.

"I see you're getting ready for a shower," Merlin answered cheekily.

"Or a proper shag," Mordred countered.

"Hmm…" Merlin said as he worked on removing the rest of his clothes as well. "A proper shower, then a proper shag?"

"I like the way you think, Merlin," Mordred said, pulling Merlin into his room to throw their clothes onto Mordred's bed.

"I'm not completely useless, you know," Merlin answered as he grabbed a towel and struck Mordred's arse with it.

"Could have fooled me," Mordred said, walking away from Merlin, giving Merlin an opportunity to really enjoy the view.

That night, Merlin rolled on his back and stared into the darkness of the room. Mordred immediately wrapped an arm around Merlin. "Sorry, is this too much?" Mordred whispered, placing his head on Merlin's chest. "I hope you're not totally against cuddling."

Merlin smiled and ran his hand up and down Mordred's back. "It's perfect."

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_The End_


End file.
